Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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