The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I want to be your penis for a week.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
