she was so not down for the gang bang
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
