he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just invented taco cereal.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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