Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize