I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
