16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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