she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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