I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
