yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize