My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
