What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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