there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize