Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
