We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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