Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
