So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize