I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
