Where is the hickey?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
