Sponge bath it is.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
