my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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