cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
