your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Small penises have feelings too.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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