Nicole vs. Life
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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