My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
