Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
