Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
