What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
