I think I am morally bankrupt
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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