Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
