I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
