so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
