apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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