nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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