My first STD was from a foam party
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
