Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
