and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You left your phone here
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