TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
