Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
