wanna go halves on a baby?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
