We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
