I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
