Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
