I wish I could teleport
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
