they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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