so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
