There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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