im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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