seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Too much gin, very little bucket
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
