The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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