Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
