I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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