omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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