community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
