If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize