When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
