I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
