Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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