3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
