I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
