i don't like sucking hair
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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